“On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, ‘They have no more wine.’ ‘Woman, why do you involve me?’ Jesus replied. ‘My hour has not yet come.’ His mother said to the servants, ‘Do whatever he tells you.’” – John 2:1-5
Have you ever thought to yourself, “I wish my husband was more of a spiritual leader?” Or have you even gone one step beyond that and told your husband you wish he would be a spiritual leader for your family? Maybe at the time, you thought that making that statement to your husband was the best way to motivate him. After all, honesty in a relationship is important right? While that may be true, pointing out a way where your husband might not be measuring up isn’t always the best idea. On the contrary, the greatest thing you can do for your husband in this sort of circumstance is to encourage him.
Mary, the mother of Jesus, modeled this so well when she attended a wedding with her Son in Galilee. There were three specific things she did in order to encourage Jesus to perform His first miracle, and I believe these three actions are great ways for wives to encourage their husbands to grow as spiritual leaders.
1. Give him a hint.
John 2:3 says, “When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, ‘They have no more wine.’” That’s a hint. She wasn’t telling Him what to do. She wasn’t shaming Him. She just set Him up by giving Him a hint. Ladies, you can do the same for your husbands. Instead of saying, “I wish you would lead our family spiritually,” give him a hint that allows him to lead.
2. Give him some time.
Once Mary told Jesus all of the wine was gone, she didn’t pressure Him to act immediately. In fact, He even asked her, “Woman, why do you involve me? My hour has not yet come” (John 2:4). But Mary knew her son. She knew He cared about people and their feelings. She knew He had the ability to perform this miracle., and so she gave Him time to process the situation and then take action. In the same way, you know your husband. You know what He’s capable of. You know he cares about you and your family. So give him time to process, and then watch Him act. Just because he doesn’t act on your timetable doesn’t make him a poor spiritual leader.
3. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
When Mary and Jesus finished their quick conversation about the situation at hand, Mary looked at the servants at the wedding and said, “Do whatever he tells you” (John 2:5). She knew what Jesus was going to do. She believed in Him. So she acted out of that confidence by telling the servants to be prepared for how her Son was going to act. Having this same kind of confidence in your husband can go a long way, ladies. When your husband knows you believe in him, when you’re affirming him and applauding him for his actions, there’s nothing he won’t do for you. He loves to be encouraged by you, and one of the best ways you can show him you’re confident in him and you’re proud of him is by giving him the benefit of the doubt.
So, the next time you start to tell your husband, “I wish you were a better spiritual leader,” or “I wish you prayed with us more,” or something along those lines, I would urge you take Mary’s approach instead. Encouraging your husband is a great way to show him that you love him, so why not start encouraging him today and see how God begins to work in his life?