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On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.” “Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” (John 2:1-5)

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I wish my husband was more of a spiritual leader?” Have you gone one step beyond that and told your husband that you wish he would be a spiritual leader for your family? Maybe, you thought that making this statement to your husband was the best way to motivate him. After all, honesty in a relationship is important, right? While that may be true, pointing out a way where your husband might not be measuring up isn’t always the best idea. On the contrary, the greatest thing you can do for your husband in this sort of circumstance is to encourage him.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, modeled this very well when she attended a wedding with her Son in Galilee. Mary did several things to encourage Jesus to perform His first miracle. These three specific actions are great ways for wives to encourage their husbands to grow as spiritual leaders:

1. Give him a hint. 

John 2:3 says, When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.” That’s a hint. She wasn’t telling Him what to do, and she wasn’t shaming Him. She just set Him up by giving Him a hint. Ladies, you can do the same thing for your husbands. Instead of saying, “I wish you would lead our family spiritually,” give him a hint that allows him to lead.

2. Give him some time. 

When Mary told Jesus all of the wine was gone, she didn’t pressure Him to act immediately. In fact, He even asked her, “Woman, why do you involve me? My hour has not yet come.” (John 2:4) Mary knew her son. She knew He cared about people and their feelings. She knew He had the ability to perform this miracle; so, she gave Him time to process the situation and take action. In the same way, you know your husband. You know what he is capable of doing. You know he cares about you and your family. Give him time to process, and then watch him act. Just because he doesn’t move on your timetable doesn’t make him a poor spiritual leader.

3. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

When Mary and Jesus finished their quick conversation about the situation at hand, Mary looked at the servants at the wedding and said, “Do whatever he tells you.” (John 2:5) She knew what Jesus was going to do and she believed in Him. Out of that confidence, she responded by telling the servants to be prepared for her Son’s action. If you have this same kind of confidence in your husband, it can go a long way. When your husband knows you believe in him, and when you are affirming him and applauding him for his actions; there is nothing he won’t do for you. He loves to be encouraged by you. You can show him you are confident in him and proud of him by giving him the benefit of the doubt.

The next time you start to tell your husband, “I wish you were a better spiritual leader,” or “I wish you prayed with us more;” I urge you to take Mary’s approach. Encourage your husband to show him that you love him. Encourage him today and see how God begins to work in his life.

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