Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Ernest Hemingway once said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” It might sound simple, but deciding to trust someone, especially someone who you know isn’t perfect, can be a scary thing. At the same time, trust is a very important aspect of any relationship, especially a marriage. Love and trust go hand-in-hand, just like Paul reminds us, [Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:7) It is important to recognize any roadblocks that could keep you from fully trusting your spouse.
Maybe your spouse has done something in the past that has caused you not to trust them. They hurt you, and you don’t want to put yourself in a position to be hurt the same way again. Please remember what Paul said: “Love always trusts.” He didn’t say, “Love trusts sometimes,” or “Love trusts when it’s easy.” If we want to love our spouses well, we must make the choice to trust them always.
Sometimes, a lack of trust has nothing to do with something your spouse did, but rather something that has been done to you by someone else. For example, maybe you grew up with a father who was verbally abusive, which caused you to pull away from him. If you are married to someone who expresses himself or herself out loud, suddenly it’s very easy to project that emotional distrust onto your spouse.
The sooner you are able to identify what is keeping you from trusting your spouse, the quicker you can begin to start mending those wounds and building a trust-filled marriage. Maybe it’s time to seek out a mentor, or a Christian counselor, who can help you during this season and navigate any difficulties you are facing.
Whatever circumstances you are walking through, the best thing you can do for your marriage is to show love and trust, and choose to believe the best. Trusting someone is a choice, just like Ernest Hemingway suggested. Even though it’s not always an easy choice, and it’s not always deserved, trusting your spouse is one of the greatest ways you can show that you love them.