Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
I have never really liked preachers. Even today, I struggle with many preachers. Do you know why? Because (just like all humans), some people in my profession play the game of being what people want them to be.
I grew up in the sixties and the seventies, and many of the preachers I knew during that time spoke with affected speech. When you were talking with them, they spoke normally. However, when they got into the pulpit, they would take on a preacher’s form of verbiage and cadence. They tried to speak like Billy Graham and invite people to come down from the balconies to make a decision for Jesus (even when their churches didn’t have balconies). I saw and heard that, and I said, “I don’t want to be like that, Jesus. I will serve you with music. I will lead worship, but don’t ever call me to be a preacher. I can’t do that.” The Lord told me that He didn’t want me to do that. He just wanted me to be me.
As time went on, I got to the point where I was so consumed with finding God’s will that I would often pray for finding God’s will. I would long for God’s will, but He was silent. He didn’t give me any verses. I prayed and prayed, but the ceiling between heaven and me would not allow my prayers to penetrate it. Then, I gave up and said, “Jesus, I’m tired of trying to force my will upon you. I’m through trying to find out what you want from me. I just want to know you. I just want to know you.” I started taking my focus and my attention off of what I wanted to know for the next steps, and started focusing on wanting to know Jesus personally.
I began to read the Scriptures and say, “Jesus, show me everything you want me to know about you. I’m not interested in me; I want to know you.” Do you know what happened? In that journey of wanting to know Him, He suddenly gave me the desire to do what He wanted me to do. Instead, God gave me the desire to want to stand and deliver, to stand and proclaim His Word. The very thing where I said, “No, God, I don’t want to do that,” I couldn’t wait to do it. What caused that change? I changed where I was looking.
I am guessing that you are trying to find God’s will for your life right now. As you continue that search, stop trying to fit God into your life. Instead, make Jesus your life. Press into knowing Him and trusting Him. As you seek Him, He will give you the right direction.