What They’re Not Saying

"The purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out." — Proverbs 20:5
 
Are you listening to what people aren't telling you?
 
If you want to be an encourager, you have to learn to listen. Not just to the words coming out of someone's mouth, but to the silence between them. Sometimes what someone is not saying speaks volumes more than what they are saying.
 
People don't always tell you what's really going on. They give you the surface version, the polished answer, the "I'm fine" response. But if you listen carefully, with discernment, you'll pick up on the hesitation, the things they skipped over, the topics they avoided.
 
That's where the real conversation is hiding.
 
"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).
 
A good discipler doesn't just wait for their turn to talk. They ask probing questions and then get quiet. They create space for someone to open up. They pay attention to body language, tone, and timing.
 
I've watched my wife do this for over fifty years. She would lay down beside our kids at night, rub their backs, and just be present. And they would tell her everything. Why? Because she wasn't trying to fix anything. She was just listening.
 
Some of the people who have made the deepest impact in your life are those who loved you by listening to you, without judgment, accepting where you were but loving you enough not to let you stay there.
 
Listen deeper. Hear more.