Your Role In Forgiveness

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. – Matthew 6:14-15

I read something on social media the other day that really stuck with me. It said, “The most powerful person in your life is the one who you refuse to forgive.”

Do you know why this is true? Because their offense that has been unforgiven is still brewing resentment in your heart. It will do more damage to you than ever to them.

Getting the other person to change is not the point of forgiveness. You might say, “I will not forgive them until they change, and they show me they have changed.” You need to get over that thought. That is not the point of forgiveness. It is not in your power to change someone. When you forgive someone, you set yourself free from the person who offended you.

On the other hand, if you are the offending party, and you created the offense, own it. Give the person who you offended space. You need to convey remorse and do your best to show repentance. Don't expect restoration to occur immediately. Give them time. Sometimes, forgiveness is a process, and it takes time.

Finally, if you are not the offender or the victim, stay out of it! Don't empower either one of them by siding with one of them. Let God sort this out. I don't care if you are related to them. I don't care if they are your best friend. Being the best friend of someone who has been offended and taking their side will not help your best friend. This is a personal and private thing. Do not take the side of the offender. Do not take the side of the person who was offended. God can sort this out without your help.